A Fair Trade (satire)

A Fair Trade (satire)

I don't believe you on principle, 
you inflate prices as if they're from heaven.
Let me explain it to you simply: 

I buy firewood for my sauna by weight,
And a guitar weighing three kilograms
Comes out cheaper than your PRS

What is the money for, good heavens?
It's the same trees, Gibson or a chair,
And the hardware - not even a handful of non-ferrous metal! 
Well alright, let's add a pack of strings to the price.

Well, let's even add the electricity,
Since Paul was sanding 10 Tops at night.
And it's still expensive, there was less paint used on the guitar,
It's cheaper to paint a lamppost full-length.

I inherited a guitar from my grandfather,
And I propose a fair trade to you -
Two PRSs, a capo, and some kind of metal combo amp!
Well, with you paying the difference, naturally. 
I don't even care if it has a gig bag or not!

Why are you silent? I'm counting to three!
What's with the emojis? I don't understand this humor!
Hey, I'm not posting our correspondence on my wall!
Go take screenshots of your own mother!

What rudeness, ignorance, a brazen scam!
I'll shit on you in every post, 
I'll leave angry comments for a year in advance
And I'll curse you out with three-story profanity!

I'll sell my instrument easily!
I'll get rich from this one deal!
I'll open a guitar school,
As soon as I learn how to play it myself!

 

Green Shaman